“Why do Christians sing when they are together? The reason is, quite simply, because in singing together it is possible for them to speak and pray the same Word at the same time; in other words, because they can unite in the Word.”
~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, p. 59
Archives For Christians
Yes, you read that correctly.
This is the Rally to Maintain Division.
You see, a FORMER favorite author of mine, Rachel Held Evans, is pulling together Christians from every “sect” of our faith to try to unite us all in Christ. Now this seems great to most Christians. But I LOVE division. No, not the kind of division that respects people for their theological differences; the kind that helps beat up our brothers in Christ. The kind of Christianity that says, “I’m right, you’re wrong, now get out of my church.”
So maybe you heard about Jon Stewart’s “Rally to Restore Sanity” last October. Just as soon as Jon Stewart made his announcement, Stephen Colbert came back with his announcement for his “Rally to Restore Fear.” His desire was to restore fear back into American politics. And 200,000 people showed up on the Washington mall. And Stephen won. For sure.
So now that Rachel Held Evans has publicly admitted to stealing this idea and putting a “Christian” spin on it, I am the Stephen Colbert to her cause. She thinks she is doing us all a favor by trying to unite us. Well I call her bluff. And even if I’ve recommended everything she has ever written before, I am now calling ALL of us as Christians to KEEP THE HATE ALIVE! (*Insert rally chant*)
Oh. I should also mention she is doing this entirely for selfish purposes. She says she is raising money for Charity: water to try to show we can put aside our differences to help people in need. But I’m sure it’s all a publicity stunt. It always is from people like her (*insert fabricated story about her*). I think pulling our resources together to help people in need is ridiculous and that we should just argue about useless theology all day.
That’s a cause I could get behind.
And thus the birth of the Rally to Maintain Division.
See the pictures below and further instructions:
“Predestined to have a choice?”
So much easier than healthy dialogue.
“Next time you think about accepting someone for their differences, be sure to smack yourself in the face and proceed to insult them for their faith.”
New sweatshirt I custom made: “God Doesn’t Like You!”
On sale now!
“There’s No UNITY in CommUNITY, but there is a ME in team.”
You just have to rearrange the letters and it’s all about ME!
Jesus said to love your NEIGHBOR, but nothing about the guy two doors down.
I’m a conservative. You’re a liberal. Let’s yell at each other.
Liturgical churches don’t really worship. Contemporary churches are all just a big show.
Other notable mentions:
Jesus is a Democrat. (or a Republican…whichever one drives you more crazy…but he is definitely in a political party).
Let’s go back to the good ole days…when people didn’t use drums to “praise God” and the organ cost more than most homes. Worship wars must live on!
“I Use Controversy To Stir Up Dissension”
“Denominations Are Useless”
“Christians Are Crazy”
So here’s your instructions:
1.) Post your own picture of how you are Rallying to Maintain Division. Or write something in the comments about how we can keep division alive! This is the best cause I’ve ever been a part of.
2.) Write your own response of how we can keep division alive. Either in the comments here, your own post, or on facebook or twitter. This needs to go viral. This is the most important cause you could ever be a part of.
3.) Share this post with friends. Let’s get everyone involved in this.
4.) If you are a complete nut job and think Christians should pull together to battle injustice, love others, and show Christ to people, then go give to Charity: water. But only if you are crazy.
But if you are with me in battling against crazy liberal-conservatives like Rachel Held Evans, then join the battle!
I feel inclined to add that this is all a big joke. This is satire and meant entirely for fun. It is never a good idea to not be unified. So let’s keep this light-hearted and fun. Thanks!
The following post is written by two people. The first, is my fiance. I love her a lot. The second is written by Aunt Susan. I love her a lot too.
Back at the start of this blog, I wrote a post called “Oh The Mega Church”. As I re-read this post less than a year and a half later, I am slightly embarrassed. I’ve wanted to remove it for quite some time, but the point of this blog is to journey together, and to see progress. This includes the places I’m right and the places I’m wrong. God has restored a lot of things in my life and part of that is my view of church, and even the mega church. Through frequently listening to mega church leaders like Andy Stanley, Rob Bell, Francis Chan, Tim Keller, Craig Groeschel, Bill Hybels, Pete Wilson, etc. and seeing a lot of positive change come from these mega churches, my views are much different. Most of my favorite thinkers and practioners in the church today…are at mega churches.
Is it the flavor of church for me? Nope. But that doesn’t mean I need to be a hater either.
Here is Sarah’s introduction to my aunt’s post: Continue Reading…
Christians vs. Homosexuals. Us vs. them. This seems to be the attitude of many conservative Christians and the homosexual community. In fact, 91% of young people outside the church (ages 16-29) believe that Christians are antihomosexual and 80% of churchgoers subscribe to the same perception. Further, 87% of people who do not call themselves Christians identify the word “judgmental” with present-day Christianity. Let’s start by admitting there is a problem here.
Before I share of my experience of attending a PRIDE event this past weekend, maybe we should get some background information. I have grown up in an open, but conservative Christian home and have never experienced any sort of gay. lesbian, or bi (GLB) gathering. Starbucks was giving out free coffee at the event, and since I work part time for them, I decided to go volunteer. When I put this up on my twitter/fb status, I received all kinds of messages. I had some in joking manners questioning my sexuality (I should add that I am straight), some praising me for being a “light on a hill”, and one who said, “Way to go Siggy! We all know ya love the women….besides who could look at a man’s hairy butt and…..???? well, you know….”. The problem is, I do know. I do know that I worked with someone at Starbucks who chose a homosexual lifestyle because his parents were so overly-religious it pushed him to rebel in that manner (still his choice, but the fact remains this was his driving force). I do know that other homosexuals I’ve talked to and have found out that I am a Christian immediately believe that I think they are going to hell. What??? When I first meet someone, the last thing I’m thinking about is whether or not they will be going to heaven or hell. I want to know what they do for a living, what they enjoy doing, what makes them live and breathe, how their weekend was, etc. It is unbelievable how many walls you have to break through when trying to have a simple conversation with someone about faith. Or how their day is going. Continue Reading…
I got an email tonight about a promotion for a new social networking site for Christians called “FaithOut”. It said, “Users can upload all their favorite photos, tag their friends and family, share videos and music and find others around similar spiritual interests.” First off, I don’t really care to try and find people with similar “spiritual interests”. What does that mean? “Hey look! This person totally loves to speak in tongues! Let’s be friends!” lol. Trying to get Christians to go to a separate place for a phenomenon that breaks out “in the world” is nothing new, though. I’m sure you’ve heard of GodTube, which started as the Christian alternative to YouTube. Really? Why would us as Christians do this? Continue Reading…